I stand here wondering what I should do. I have hard time focus on anything. I try to work but I have issues with anxiety that makes it hard to do anything. I have so much going on in my life that I can stay in one spot in my life. I have a pregnant wife that is about to bust, work, and dealing with my internal issues all at the same time.
I wake up every day and wonder what it would be like if I was someone else. Would I have the same issue. If I never joined the military would I still have this same issue that I try to deal with everyday. I feel like the military has failed me. When I was unable to do my job anymore I was discarded and left out to dry. What Am I to do now is the question that I as myself every day. It’s hard to face the day when you are at the mercy of the VA and they don’t really care about you. All they want to do is throw more medicine at you. I avoid looking at mirrors as much as possible so I don’t have to look at the most disappointed person in the world. I know this is hard to deal with and I have the internal fight that seems to be over taking me every day. So I know it’s been awhile since I wrote something but I decided to put something up today with what’s going on.