Standing Alone

To you ever get the feeling that you are alone.  I get that feeling all the time.  I can be in a room of people and feel alone.  I sometimes wish that was not the case.  I look at people and envy them for not having to go through the struggle I deal with every day.  I don’t have very many friends and the ones that I do have I keep them at a distance.

I can’t look at people and feel like I belong to anything.  Even other soldiers that deal with the same things that I deal with.  It makes it hard to even connect with them.  I have a ticking time bomb inside me and at any moment it can explode and I don’t want to have people around me with that.

So this is why I feel like I stand alone.  Having the feeling that no one understands what I’m going though.  The mental battle I face every single day.  It’s a struggle that I sometimes feel I can’t win.  So it’s hard to live in society when you don’t feel like part of it.

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